"These Times We Live In.. Not Only, But Also.
My tea arrives in my bedroom.
( OK.....I AM very spoilt...)
A swift early morning glance at The Times:
2000 criminals to be released early to ease overcrowding.
Over a million children live in " severe poverty" ( that's households with less than £134 weekly )
Sir Salman Rushdie's "gong" has inflamed the Muslim world.
31 children taken into care after paedophile ring smashed by British police.
AND Claude Monet's "Waterloo Bridge" was sold at Christie's yesterday for £17.9 million..
BUT ALSO: A Dutch man was jailed yesterday for 8 weeks. When driving his car, he'd steered with his knees while eating spaghetti from a pan.
AND NOT ONLY that, but:
D'you remember Princess Diana's 17 Godchildren? (They were bequeathed 25% of her "goods and chattels" but merely inherited the odd prezy wrapped in newsprint??)
Well! NOW they've been invited to BUY ( yep, buy!) a ticket for the Diana Memorial Concert in July..
AND ALSO: Paul Potts, opera singer winner of TV's " Britain's Got Talent" , declares that the Judges ( Amanda Holden, Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell ) are: " some of the most feared judges on the PLANET.."
( Sweet Amanda, playful Piers, sexy Simon??!)
But he can be forgiven: he's spending part of his £100,000 winnings on much-needed cosmetic dentistry...
AND The world's oldest man Tomoji Tanabe 111 ( born 1895, in Japan) said: " I've been around too long. I'm sorry..."
( I can think of younger, more suitable candidates who should be saying this, can't you? )
ALSO yesterday, Barbra Striesand held her celebrated concert in Zurich....
BUT Oh dear, her voice, it's reported: " showed its age...a hoarse, rasping tone"..... although on hearing " Smile", " a wave of quiet rapture rippled through the hall..." ( WOW!)
AND another thing:
A moth....yes, a moth in California ( its ancestors came from Oz and developed a taste for Napa Valley's finest grapes)... this little creature is NOW said to be generating PANIC throughout the State..
AND ALSO, d'you know, a fossil found in a cave in SE China, reveals that 2 million years ago, the panda was a pygmy..( HAVE I read this right?)
And lastly, Bernard Manning, 76 year old controversial Northern Club comedian ( he died yesterday) is quoted in his Obituary as saying: " Mother was 95 when she died. And I used to carry her downstairs to make my breakfast" ...
Maybe my husband should carry ME downstairs to make the tea...
BUT : As I said, It's These Times We Live In.
( OK.....I AM very spoilt...)
A swift early morning glance at The Times:
2000 criminals to be released early to ease overcrowding.
Over a million children live in " severe poverty" ( that's households with less than £134 weekly )
Sir Salman Rushdie's "gong" has inflamed the Muslim world.
31 children taken into care after paedophile ring smashed by British police.
AND Claude Monet's "Waterloo Bridge" was sold at Christie's yesterday for £17.9 million..
BUT ALSO: A Dutch man was jailed yesterday for 8 weeks. When driving his car, he'd steered with his knees while eating spaghetti from a pan.
AND NOT ONLY that, but:
D'you remember Princess Diana's 17 Godchildren? (They were bequeathed 25% of her "goods and chattels" but merely inherited the odd prezy wrapped in newsprint??)
Well! NOW they've been invited to BUY ( yep, buy!) a ticket for the Diana Memorial Concert in July..
AND ALSO: Paul Potts, opera singer winner of TV's " Britain's Got Talent" , declares that the Judges ( Amanda Holden, Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell ) are: " some of the most feared judges on the PLANET.."
( Sweet Amanda, playful Piers, sexy Simon??!)
But he can be forgiven: he's spending part of his £100,000 winnings on much-needed cosmetic dentistry...
AND The world's oldest man Tomoji Tanabe 111 ( born 1895, in Japan) said: " I've been around too long. I'm sorry..."
( I can think of younger, more suitable candidates who should be saying this, can't you? )
ALSO yesterday, Barbra Striesand held her celebrated concert in Zurich....
BUT Oh dear, her voice, it's reported: " showed its age...a hoarse, rasping tone"..... although on hearing " Smile", " a wave of quiet rapture rippled through the hall..." ( WOW!)
AND another thing:
A moth....yes, a moth in California ( its ancestors came from Oz and developed a taste for Napa Valley's finest grapes)... this little creature is NOW said to be generating PANIC throughout the State..
AND ALSO, d'you know, a fossil found in a cave in SE China, reveals that 2 million years ago, the panda was a pygmy..( HAVE I read this right?)
And lastly, Bernard Manning, 76 year old controversial Northern Club comedian ( he died yesterday) is quoted in his Obituary as saying: " Mother was 95 when she died. And I used to carry her downstairs to make my breakfast" ...
Maybe my husband should carry ME downstairs to make the tea...
BUT : As I said, It's These Times We Live In.
posted by Jan at 9:40 am
19 Comments:
You have been reading the same newspaper as me Jan, only I wasn't reading mine with a cup of tea in bed! But when I grabbed a few mins before marking my next set of books. Dave has just started to write a family blog page on myspace. I don't know he finds the time.
sorry forgot to write "sarah sends her love and from susan."
Susan, Sarah and AnonyMous:
Thanks, both (all) of you!
Interested to hear re this family blog...
I love looking for odd little bits and pieces in the newspaper. (My word verification is mreder. I thought of that famous horse, Mr Ed)
Great stuff. Can you do this every day please? I could get so much more done that way...
What a crazy world........
Yes, I agree with Stay at Home Dad. We should all have the Jan Newsfeed. We could get more done and it would be far more entertaining (although a day or two late in my case).
Hello Jan - yes I read the same paper too, though I think you have extracted the most entertaining and thought-provoking bits. Look forward to reading more of your blog xx
I read that paper too, yet missed quite a few of these gems. Loved this post!
I'm just off to live in a barrel and go around with a torch in daylight...
That was the week that was!
I bet it's easier to eat spaghetti while driving in Holland as you probably just point the car and forget it about, here you'd be off a mountain in seconds flat.
Wen I was at school we had a competition to see what was the ,most outrageous thing you could eat in double history class without getting caught -I managed soup out of a flask and a whole fresh pineapple.
Yes, our times are strange. But I love the one where the fellow carried his mama of 95 downstairs so she could wait on him!
Loved that synposis of the week. I'm a news junkie but still missed half of that. Thanks for stopping by on my blog, always lovely to get new comments. Look forward to reading more of yours.
Catherine:
And the "odd" bits are the most interesting more often than not...!
S.A.H.D:
OK, I'll think about that!
Liz:
Crazy, amazing, tragedies, comedies, romances...
Such a mixture..
Clare:
Yeh, Clare.
Another paper next time, perhaps?? It'll give me a chance to sample some different ones...
JaneJill:
Lovely to meet a new Blogger here!
Cathy:
I wonder HOW you've time to read the paper with your busy life! Hope you have a good w/end.
Lucy:
And what's the bet you take some wonderful photos at the same time?!
Anyone who hasn't visited Lucy's brilliant blog, should press on her name NOW!
Apprentice:
Hmm....DID we go to the same school?!
Marly:
Hmm. Some picture.
Did you ever see a picture of said comedian?!
SuffolkMum:
Hello! Lovely to meet you here.
** Lucy has 2 Blogs, both superb. Her own is called " Box Elder". She has a 2nd one in conjunction with Joe Hyams.
Now THAT is the way to read a newspaper! They would make a great story linked together wouldn't they? But you'd have to write it Jan!
CB:
Hmm!
Good to see you.
How's the winter doing in your part of the world, m'dear?
Wonderful post, Jan! We'll all enjoy reading it again later too.
I'm not sure how you feel about memes...Clare tagged me and perhaps she knew better than to tag you... If you're interested in participating, it's here:
http://inover.blogspot.com/2007/06/eight-random-facts.html
Susan:
Thankyou Susan.
I have already "done" that particular tag ( from Marianne, I think) so think the baton should be passed to someone else.
Think I did it the wrong way round too...put it on her blog rather than my own!!
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